In December last year, I ran 15 kilometres. A proper 15K run, with other people running, stewards with drinks, an apple at the end – the whole shebang. (It might have been a banana actually.)
I ran 15 kilometres in a fluorescent yellow t-shirt.
On the back of the fluorescent yellow t-shirt were emblazoned three words:
“I have wind.”
Luckily, I was running in a foreign country where this message could be construed positively. Perhaps it is a motivational message: “I have the wind in my sails to complete this run.”
In fact, only one man mustered the considerable energy needed to overtake me and gesturally fart at me by waving his hands with wiggling fingers around his bottom area. This came at the 13K point, so the joke was lost on me really. (No, I’m pretty sure it was an apple.)
Fast-forward to the present day, and in five days’ time I am to take things a step further. In fact, I am taking things three steps’ further.
Step one: I am running my first full marathon. 42 point something kilometres of light running combined with limping, crying, drinking fluorescent energy drinks and using portable toilets. (It could have been a cereal bar.)
Step two: I am running in support of a project which provides education to children in conflict zones (@WWEPuk). This is partly through benevolence, but also an insurance policy to make sure that my mind doesn’t make me not finish the race (damn you, mind!).
Step three: I shall emblazon my t-shirt with an equivalently puerile message to “I have wind” (of not more than three words) of YOUR choosing. Yes, that’s right: I shall select the most ticklish three-word phrase from your comments below and have the message printed on my race t-shirt.
So, which three words would you like to see printed on my t-shirt?
(Do you know, it was an apple: I remember it made my gums bleed.)
On two serious notes:
- If you’d like to know more about the World Wide Education Project and perhaps sponsor me, please visit: https://www.justgiving.com/markwhats/
- This run is inspired by and dedicated to @debrakidd – who worked in Kakuma and blogged about her experience. I strongly encourage you to read her blog.